Hands
by CountingWithStraws
Summary: A story of two friends, love, betrayal, & forgiving oneself. AkuRoku. Rated M for strong language & sex.
1. Part 1

Author Notes:

I'd like to start off by apologize to those who are reading _Dance With Me, Exotica_; I will finish chapter five eventually, but this project is currently a priority. _Hands_ is a project that will be apart of my application portfolio for grad school. As a treat I'm reworking each part of _Hands_ into a fanfiction and uploading it. There will be eight short parts uploaded of about 1,000 words each (my portfolio has a page limit, thus each part is short) and will alternate between flashbacks and the present.

The parts posted on this site have only been edited by myself, and have not undergone the grueling process of my editing team; therefore, constructive criticism is welcome.

Enjoy!

* * *

_Hey. _

_Hi. _

_It's been awhile. _

_Yeah. _

_I'm sorry. _

_I know. _

_I love you._

_ … _

Hands that hold,

protecting those close to the heart.

Hands that push,

condemning those painful to the heart.

We speak through our connections,

our holds and our pushes,

our loves and our hatreds,

all told through our

**HANDS**

The sound of air being torn from his mother's throat in a nightmarish scream of painful ecstasy awoke little Roxas from his dreamland sanctuary. He had been sailing merrily on a nameless dreaded pirate ship of his own creation. It was rare for the night to bring peaceful quietness, but Roxas had never heard a sound like that before—it was beyond the usual slew of vulgarity that his mother often forced upon unwilling ears. The unholy sound turned his stomach and burned painfully in his ears. It was so loud.

Desperately, he clung to the ragged, patched blanket that was his only source of warmth on the late autumn night and curled up more tightly on the ancient mattress. He tried to focus on the familiar neighbourhood noises: the forever arguing couple next door, the nightly party in the apartment above, the distant cars honking on Main Street just beyond the park, and the future gangsters boasting sexual conquests in the alleyway below. But they were all too soft, too quiet in comparison to his mother's screaming which was accompanied by a constant thumping. With every thump the screaming intensified. It seemed never ending.

Roxas snapped. In an instant he was out of his bed and rushing to the front door. He snatched up the stolen, brand-new shoes that replaced his useless, worn-out ones and began undoing the door locks. The screaming was deafening. Roxas could feel his insides twisting in revulsion as he looked up at the last lock; it was a chain lock, too high for a short five-year-old, like himself, to reach.

Taking a deep breath—the screaming had to climax soon, didn't it?—he looked around at the array of deteriorating furniture and spotted the broken broom that his father used on his backside at dinner when the new shoes had been discovered. He snatched it up and rushed back to the doors. His hands shook. The screaming became more raw, more animalistic, more pained. Lifting the broomstick, Roxas tried to snag the rusty chain. He missed. The screaming stopped. It was as if it had been suddenly choked off. Silenced. Roxas froze. His heart was pounding, and his eyes were wide as he turned to look towards his parents' bedroom. A minute went by, then two, and still there was not a sound in the house. Was it over?

Just as Roxas began to relax there was a slap of skin against skin, and his father hollered, "Wake up, you fucking bitch, and get me a beer!"

Roxas jumped into movement. He spun around, hooked the chain, and tugged as hard as he could towards the right. The rusted chain broke as he heard his mother's hoarse voice murmur a reply to his father. Then the screaming started again—these ones too weakened by the last and far more terrified sounding. He scurried out the door, down the stairs, and into the alleyway before he could be tortured by anymore of his mother's screams.

Weaving through the alleyways, dumpsters, and homeless, Roxas made his way to the park where he finally heard safe silence. He found a nice, sturdy bench hidden beneath a giant tree and curled up on it. The familiar drone of Main Street traffic soothed his nerves and soon Roxas returned to his innocent, child's dreams, where no evil lurked and his parents were happy and loving.

* * *

A warm hand gently caressed Roxas' arm, which was nearly numb with October cold. "Hey, wake up, Rox."

He groaned and moved closer to the source of warmth.

"Wake up!" The caressing hand shook him.

Roxas frowned and opened his eyes. The park was engulfed in a thin, post-dawn fog and the grass was frosted in icy white. Beside his head was a boy from school, the one who owned the stolen shoes. The boy was looking at him with worried, emerald eyes that were hidden behind thick black glasses. Roxas sat up.

"Why are you sleeping out here, Rox? Aren't you cold?" the boy asked.

Looking down, Roxas wrapped his arms around his shivering body and did not answer.

"Are you ok?"

He could feel tears gathering beneath his blue eyes, but still he did not answer. When he felt a warm coat wrap around him, he looked up at the boy who now only wore jeans and a sweater.

"Want to come to my house? Daddy's going to make pancakes!" the boy said excitedly.

Roxas bit his lip, unsure of if he should go, but unwilling to go home either, but before he could answer a warm, hardy voice called out, "Axel! Come on, son, we gotta get home."

The boy looked towards a large man carrying a tote bag. "Coming, daddy!" Then Axel looked back at Roxas and smiled. "C'mon."

Roxas began to shake his head, but the boy grabbed his cold hand with his two warm ones and pulled him from the bench. With a friendly grin, Axel led Roxas to his father and then home to fresh pancakes and a morning of hearty laughter.


	2. Part 2

Author's Notes:

Behold part two! I struggled a bit with this, which ended up with me being two days behind schedule (though that's partly because I was very ill yesterday), but hopefully the next parts will come more smoothly & be posted quickly. For those of you who read part one without a prologue, it's now up with one!

Engjoy!

* * *

Roxas did not open his eyes when he awoke, unwilling to let go of the comfort it had brought him during the night and at the same time ashamed for needing to remember Axel's warm friendship after all these years. It had been five years since high school graduation, five years since he had lost his best friend. The guilt still darkened his heart, but as he gently tightened his arms around the woman next to him, he contented himself to his self-appointed punishment of eternal betrayal.

Opening his eyes he looked down at Namine. She was asleep, lying naked in his arms, their hands intertwined. There was a dark hickey on the side of her breast which he was fairly sure was not his doing. Not that it was not something he would do, it was just that last night Namine would not allow time for play.

She had stormed into their apartment sometime after midnight and began angrily taken what she wanted from Roxas before he was even fully awake. It was the first time they had had sex in months, and he had been disappointed that he had not had the opportunity to really savor it. After about ten minutes she had rolled off him, smelling faintly of a cologne that he did not wear, and he had been left to find is own climax alone in the bathroom.

With a defeated sigh he kissed Namine's shoulder and she groaned in response, pulling away from him. His hands found nothing but sheets as she rolled out of the bed and walked into the bathroom.

"Morning," he said to the empty room.

When he heard the shower turn on he got out of bed and dressed. By the time he had started the coffee pot Namine was coming out of the shower in mid-conversation. He raised his eyebrows, trying to piece together what he had not heard, but, as usual, she expected him to hear.

"It was like I was asking them to move mountain or something!" she said whilst she slipped on a particularly sexy black bra and thong. "All I did was want them to contact the shoemaker and request that he make me a pair in the right colour. Is it really that hard to do? Stupid Payless bitches."

Roxas sighed. Shoes, she was talking about shoes again.

"What am I going to do? I mean, those shoes were perfect! _Perfect!_"

As she continued to rant about the shoes, Roxas wondered why she had picked out the tantalizing lingerie she was wearing. Perhaps she had plans for them after their date tonight? It was their five-year anniversary and, after being chewed out last year for forgetting because he was swamped with work and midterms, Roxas had made sure to make up for it tonight. He had managed to get reservations at Namine's favorite restaurant, which he had been saving up for since last year to be able to pay for. Also, he had gotten tickets for her favourite singer, some scantly dressed, pop star whose songs all seemed to merge together in shallow, overdramatic lyrics.

"Roxas, are you listening to me or thinking about that stupid shooty game again?" Namine snapped. She was now fully dress in a little black dress, four-inch heels, and a jean jacket.

"What?" Roxas blinked. "Oh, 'course I was listening. You were talking about shoes."

"No, I was telling you about Marluxia's party tonight. I want to go."

He frowned. Marluxia was some football star who was supposed to graduate university with them in the spring. He had overheard several rumours that Marluxia was sleeping with Namine, his fiancée.

"Namine, we already have plans tonight. Remember dinner and that concert?"

"But I wanna _gooowa!"_ she whined.

"I saved up months for dinner, Namine, and the concert's already paid for."

"Why are you being so selfish, Rox!"

He blinked, taken aback. "How am I being selfish?"

"You're trying to hog me all to yourself and won't let me hang out with my friends!"

"I haven't had any time with you for a week, Namine, and we already had plans for tonight!"

"Oh my god, I haven't seen my friends in like, eight hours, and I spent time with you last night. We had sex."

"Yeah, for ten minutes!"

Namine glared at him and grabbed her purse. "You're being a selfish asshole, Roxas. I don't deserve this cruel treatment!"

Before Roxas could say another word the door slammed behind her as she left him alone in their empty apartment. His shoulders slumped down and he ran a hand through his hair. What was he going to do if she did not show?


	3. Part 3

The library was freezing or, at least, that was what Roxas told himself as he felt Axel shift even closer to him, their bodies nearly pressed against each other's. For a few minutes they just sat like that, both looking at their own ACT study manuals and doing the test questions, and then Roxas shifted. His left arm lay on the table, resting along the length of Axel's right arm. He could feel the warmth radiating off of Axel's skin and his insides tightened when he thought of what it would be like to be covered in that warmth.

Roxas frowned and looked across the table. Namine, Axel's girlfriend, was sitting across from them, her own study manual open in front of her. She was the most popular and beautiful girl in school, and somehow Axel, king of the nerds, managed to convince her to go to Winter Formal sophomore year. Two and a half years later, they still seemed to be going strong. But something had changed, shifted. Namine looked up, caught Roxas looking at her, and smiled in a way that made Roxas think she had a secret just for him. He looked down. She had started doing things like that a few months ago and Roxas did not know what to make of it. Was she flirting with him? If so, why? No one besides Axel had ever paid attention to him, the rumours and stories about his parents had made sure of that. He sighed heavily, unsure of what to do, and completely uncomfortable with the situation.

"You ok, Rox?" Axel asked.

Roxas looked up at his friend. "Yeah, I'm fine. This math is just giving me a headache."

"Don't worry so much, Rox, you'll pass the ACTs."

It was subtle, but Roxas felt the back of Axel's hand brush comfortingly against his own. Blushing lightly, Roxas pressed the back of his hand against his friend's. Axel smiled. It was another secret smile, but this one made Roxas's heart race.

"Hey, what's the answer to number nineteen?" Namine asked, looking up from her manual.

Axel frowned and cleared his throat before he began gathering his things up. "Negative six y."

"Are you leaving?"

"Yeah, my mom needs a hand with some, um, stuff." He looked at Roxas. "See you at hockey practice tonight?"

Roxas nodded.

"Breathe. You'll do fine on the test." Axel gave Roxas's shoulder a reassuring squeeze and then left, leaving Roxas with a strange craving for his friend's missing warmth.


	4. Part 4

Roxas had just finished his second beer when the waitress asked him if was willing to move over to the bar. It had been an hour and a half and Namine still had not shown for the restaurant reservation. His stomach churned, upset. Sighing, Roxas removed himself from the table and moved over to the bar. He would wait a half hour longer and then go home. Maybe he would pick up a case of cheaper beer along the way.

He missed her secret smiles. They had been just for him and the key to her seducing him in the library back in high school. She had needed him then, but that was five years ago. Sighing, Roxas ordered another beer. Having sex with Namine in the library's bathroom had been a mistake he would never forgive himself for. Now he was engaged to his greatest regret and on the cusp of ending up like his parents.

Roxas looked around the expensive restaurant at all the happy couples engrossed in their love for each other and stopped short at the sight of a table not far from the bar. It was a group of men, all wearing perfectly tailored designer suits. They were laughing and enjoying their own success. But their stark contrast to Roxas's Walmart-on-clearance dress shirt and slacks and his two minimal wage jobs was not what caught his attention. Axel was with them. Unlike Roxas's messy hair that was in desperate need of a trim, Axel was clean-shaven and his vivid red hair perfectly styled. He looked like an Armani model.

He felt his insides tighten and he looked back down at his beer. Axel—warm, loving, kind Axel, the best friend he betrayed for sex and lies—was sitting no more than ten feet from him, looking beautifully healthy and happy. Roxas wanted to go over there, get down on his hands and knees, and beg for forgiveness. He wanted to clasp Axel's warm hand between his own inferior ones. But that was impossible. Axel would never forgive his betrayal.

Longingly, he looked back over at the table and his breath halted in his lungs. Axel was looking at him. He breathed again and with the air came the consuming memory of the pain he felt when he lost the warmth and kindness of the man looking back at him. His eyes filled with unshed tears and he frowned. Slowly, a warm smile spread across Axel's face and he gestured silently for Roxas to join his friends and him. Abruptly, Roxas stood. As his stomach churned again, Axel's smile turned into a worried frown and he began to stand, but Roxas threw money on the counter and dashed from the restaurant.


	5. Part 5

"Goddamn glasses!" Axel mumbled as he lost another shooting match on the X-Box, the white sucker stick bobbing up and down between his lips as he spoke.

Roxas looked at the tall, lean eighteen-year-old sitting next to him on the never-made bed. He could feel the heat coming off of Axel's body and then his arm brushed against Axel's, causing flesh bumps to run wild across his arm. Quickly, he leaned away before any other part of his body could react.

"I don't think your glasses have anything to do with your shit playing, Axel." Roxas grinned at his brooding friend and put his cigarette out in the tray on the windowsill. It was past midnight and they were still waiting for Roxas's parents to either get home from the bar or call to get picked up—usually separately.

"Yeah, yeah, who saved your ass at the hockey game last Saturday?" Axel said with a knowing smirk.

"Shut up. I could've kicked that guy's ass!"

"Uh-huh."

Roxas leaned towards Axel. "Want me to kick your ass?"

"You wish." Axel's eyes flickered to Roxas's lips and then someone pounded on the front door of the apartment complex. Both boys jumped away from each other and frowned.

"Rox, you get your fucking ass down here you useless piece of shit!" It was his mom.

Roxas sighed and instinctively leaned against Axel, needing his warmth. She was drunk again.

"My car is still parked in the back, Rox," Axel said as he looked down at the controller in his hands. "We can always unlock the front door and bolt to my house."

Roxas didn't say anything. He just listened to his mom direct a long list of cuss words at him and contemplated what to do. If he stayed she would probably beat him, blaming him for everything—including his father sleeping with some barely legal girl nearly a decade ago and then continuing the habit whether his mom liked it or not. If he left he could delay the beating until tomorrow, perhaps she would even pass out before she could do him any harm.

"C'mon, Rox, let's go to my house."

"I have to let her in first."

"I'll do it. You just put some clothes on and jump into my car."

"No, it's better if I do it." Roxas stood up and grabbed what he assumed to be a mostly clean pair of jeans off the floor. He slipped them on and then searched for a shirt.

Axel followed suit. "You sure?"

"Yeah, man. We don't need your girlfriend freaking out 'cause your pretty boy face got all beat up."

"Roxas, this isn't a joke! Your mom's a fucking bitch."

He grabbed Axel's hand, giving it a small squeeze. "Calm down, Axel. I know how to handle her better than anyone."

"For fuck sakes, how are you supposed to handle her when you're shaking like a leaf?" Axel said as he pulled Roxas into a hug and for the briefest of moments, Roxas let him, relishing in the warmth and firmness that was Axel. It felt incredibly safe. Axel had always felt that way, like when they were little and stayed up watching scary movies; it was a guarantee that Roxas would wake from nightmares, screaming and crying as only a five year old boy could, and Axel would always be there. He was Roxas's only safe haven. But he did not deserve Axel's comfort, not after what he had done in the library.

Reluctantly, he pulled away. With a forced smile towards Axel, Roxas walked quickly from the room. As he went to buzz his mom in, Axel grabbed his hand. He looked Axel.

"Let her be."

"But-"

"Another word from you and I'll kick you in the balls and carry your sorry ass out of here. Got it?"

Roxas glared at him, but nodded and mumbled, "Safe haven my ass, dickhead," under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Good." Axel grinned and pulled Roxas out of the apartment.

Between his drunken mother and Namine, Roxas could feel his life spiraling downward, but for now, he was with Axel and he was free.

* * *

"Don't move," Axel whispered from the bedroom doorway.

Roxas tried to freeze, but it was inevitable that as soon as he was not allowed to move, random spots on his body began to itch so badly that it quickly drove him crazy and he had to scratch them.

There was a flash of light from the doorway. "Damn, you moved!"

"Tough, I itch." Roxas looked over at Axel as he scratched every part of his body that he could reach.

Sighing, Axel pocketed his camera phone. "You're shit at taking pictures."

Roxas shrugged and bit his bottom lip as he watched Axel strip down to just his jeans and then sit down on the bed beside him. It was about a half hour after they had avoided the wrath of his drunken mother, and they were now sitting in Axel's bedroom which was twice the size of his own, but still covered in a comfortable throw rug of teenaged clutter.

"What're we gonna do now?" he asked.

"Hmm…" Axel looked out of the window and was silent for a moment. "I'm breaking up with Namine."

Roxas's eyes widened and his head snapped to face Axel. Did he know what he had done in the library? He could hear his heart pounding in his ears. His chest tightened, restricting his airways. "W-what? Why?"

"She's cheating on me with half the football team, and, well, I like someone else."

"Who?"

Axel looked at him; his hazel eyes liquid warm, but Roxas could not find any sadness or anger in them. Wordlessly, Axel leaned forward and kissed him. Roxas froze. His heart sped up more and he completely stopped breathing. Hot, sizzling heat from Axel's body surrounded him and the feeling of his friend's soft lips moving against his own made his groin tighten and pulse in need. Too soon Axel pulled away, leaving Roxas cold and wanting.

"You're supposed to kiss back, Rox." Axel smiled at him, the laughter in his eyes unable to mask the lust.

Roxas looked away, his cheeks aflame. "You… you like me?"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you years ago."

"Years!?" Roxas's head snapped around to look at Axel, shocked.

Axel's face was a bright red, his eyes lowered to the comforter. "Since we were about fourteen, I think."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I was afraid of what my parents would say, and I… I was afraid you'd reject me. You were so skittish back then."

Frowning, Roxas took Axel's hand in his. Axel's fingers were warm and smooth against his callused ones. "I was afraid too. Your mom was always asking if you liked any girls back then."

"Now she asks about grandchildren." Axel smiled sadly and looked up at Roxas. "But doing what she wants, being with Namine, only makes me disgusted with myself."

"And you think a piece of shit like me won't?"

Axel frowned and gently squeezed his hand. "You're not like your parents, Rox, you're not a piece of shit."

"Yeah, I am. I'm not good enough for—"

Roxas was silenced as Axel's lips smashed against his own and this time he did not hesitate to kiss back.

* * *

Dawn slowly crept into the bedroom. The pale sunlight gradually consumed the tangle of jade blankets and youthful flesh. Axel's sleek limbs embraced Roxas's sturdy body. As the sun began to shine on his face, Roxas woke. With a groan, he opened his eyes and smiled at the sight of his best friend beside him. For a while, Roxas was allowed to live in bliss, thinking about what had happened in the last several hours: the feeling of Axel's smooth, taunt muscles flexing under his hand; the sound of Axel's deep, creamy voice calling out his name as if he was the most precious being in the world; and especially, the feeling after they had settled and Axel had simply held him. They had not progressed to sex, but it had been better than that. As Axel had held him, he had felt as if a burden had been lifted off of him, as if he had been released from the shadows that had tormented him for so long and was finally allowed to live. It was the most indescribable feeling he had ever had.

Roxas looked out of the window, smiling. He wanted to laugh aloud and he could feel the tears of untamed joy gathering in his eyes, and then he remembered he was not free yet—Namine. With that one name, everything came crashing back to earth. All his joyous feelings and light-heartedness were like a bubble that suddenly popped, leaving behind a sticky splatter on the ground. Carefully, Roxas removed himself from Axel—thankful that his friend slept like a rock—and then dressed. He scribbled down a quick note telling Axel to meet him at the park and ended it with a little heart. He looked at the little lopsided heart for a moment and then scribbled it out. With a last, longing glance at his best friend, Roxas left the room. He needed a smoke.


	6. Part 6

As Roxas slipped his key into the apartment door, he was unsure and seeing Axel had shaken him. It had been five years, maybe it was time to let go. Time to forgive himself. Axel obviously did if he had been willing to allow Roxas to join his table. But there was still Namine. He might have loved the Namine he used to know, but he could love better, could love more deeply. Axel had proven that years ago. And maybe he was not the best person in the world, he had his share of regrets, and he had paid for them dearly. Five years was long enough. It was time to let her go as well, but what if she still needed him?

The familiar sexual screams of his childhood greeted Roxas as he opened the door. Straight across from him the bedroom door was ajar, revealing Namine's newest pair of four-inch heels digging into a man's backside. Roxas felt his stomach roll and then plunge him forward. His mouth watered, preparing for the assault, and he rushed into the bathroom just before everything came out.

He relived it all as his stomach contracted in time with the heavy thumps of the bed smashing against the wall in the room next to the bathroom. Every night in her bed, every night she was missing, it all came up. He remembered all the times she smelled of someone else's cologne, and all the times he found shirts that he did not recall buying but she had sworn were his. With each kiss, each touch, each dishonest memory, another portion of his poisoned innards was forced from his body. All of her cheap lies that he had willed himself to believe these past five years poured from his mouth, leaving him dizzy and empty, but free.

When her poison had finally left him, Roxas stood up and flushed it all away, and then went to the sink to rinse his mouth out. Looking in the mirror, he saw Namine in the doorway, clutching the sheet that was wrapped around her. She reminded him of an innocent, little doe with her big brown eyes. She looked terrified and as her eyes became glazed with gathering tears, Roxas briefly wondered if they were real or practiced. Namine was well aware of his weakness for crying women.

When she went to speak, Roxas cut her off, "I'd like you out of the apartment by tomorrow afternoon."

"You're… you're kicking me out!?" Namine said, shocked.

"I pay the rent, and you obviously have other beds to soil."

"You can't kick me out. I'm your fiancée!"

"Right, about that…" Roxas turned around and snatched her hand up, Namine struggled but he managed to slip the engagement ring off her finger. "Might as well sell this to make up what I had to pay for the restaurant and concert you never showed up for."

"Hey, that's mine! Give it back, Roxas, you're being an asshole!" She attempted to get the ring back, but Roxas dodged her.

Wrinkling his nose in disgust, he moved around her and headed for the door. "Don't touch me, you reek."

"Roxas, where are you going? Can't we talk this out?"

He stopped at the door and looked back at her. "You have until tomorrow afternoon."

"But I love you, Roxas!" Namine said as she finally started to cry.

"By tomorrow afternoon," he repeated and then he walked out the front door, closing it softly behind him. As soon as he was outside of the building, Roxas lit a cigarette and pulled out his cell phone. A moment later it chimed in completion of sending a text.


	7. Part 7

Roxas sat on a park bench. Gently, he rubbed his knotted stomach, dreading what was about to happen. But he had to do it. He had to tell the truth, especially after last night.

"Rox?" He looked up to see Axel walking over to him from the Main Street. Axel must have gotten a taxi since Roxas did not see his car in the distance. "I got your note. What's wrong? Why'd you leave before I got up?"

Roxas lifted his cigarette in answer. They both knew that Axel's mother would freak if she even got the slightest whiff of smoke in her want-to-be-palace of a townhouse. That was why Axel chose not to pick up the habit when he did—Axel did not want his mother to get on his case about smoking too, marriage and producing grandchildren was enough of a headache.

"Oh. Can I bum one off you?" Axel said as he sat down next to Roxas, making sure there was a good foot between them.

Raising an eyebrow, Roxas looked at him. "You don't smoke."

"Yeah, well, I have a feeling this is gonna suck."

Roxas handed him a cigarette and his 'flick my bic' lighter without another word, and then watched as Axel took his first drag before he started coughing. Laughing, Roxas patted him on the back.

"Easy there big guy. Kissing death is a learned ability, not a born talent." Roxas smiled. Axel's eyes widened, and he quickly looked away, blushing. "What? What did I—ooh." His own blush warmed his cheeks as Roxas took a long, practiced drag and looked around the park.

They were sitting on one of the few remaining shadowed benches before the hot summer sun clocked noon, a large tree right behind them. Luckily, the nearby lake gave fight to the heat with its cool breeze that carried the voices of the swarming seagulls over to the park. Squirrels and chipmunks ventured into their tree-homes and early-bird elderly couples gave way to business suits on their way to luncheons and anti-morning teenagers as the afternoon approached.

"So…" Axel said before attempting another, shorter, drag of his cigarette. "Perhaps we should talk, about last night, I mean."

"That's not what I wanted to talk to you about. Well, I do, but not now." Roxas just stared ahead of him. He could feel Axel's emerald eyes on him, but he knew his nerve would fail him if he looked at his best friend.

"What did you need to tell me then?"

Roxas squeezed his eyes closed and mumbled, "I slept with Namine."

There was no response from Axel.

Slowly, Roxas opened one eye and looked around, and then he opened the other before finally looking at Axel. His friend was frozen next to him. His words gradually processing through Axel's mind, like an old game console trying to load the next level of _Mortal Kombat_. Axel's face slowly went from ghostly white to a shade of red that reminded Roxas of that little button that people always said not to push, but he always did.

Finally, Axel said through his grinding teeth, "What?"

"I'm sorry." Roxas looked down, defeated.

"You too!?" Axel balled his hands into fists, his knuckles whitening.

"I'm sorry, Axel. I never-" Before Roxas could even finish getting the words out he found himself flat on his back, warm blood gushed from his nose and ran stickily down his face. It had a heavy metallic taste as it pooled into his mouth and invaded his throat, choking him as he tried to breathe through the only way now possible. When he opened his eyes the world seemed to spin around him in nauseating circles and everything was slowly darkening from the outside in as if he was looking through a closing tunnel.

"You fucking bastard!" Axel screamed before jumping on top of him and violently ripped the air from his lungs. The blood that was choking him was forced out of his airways, flew upwards and splattered Axel's enraged face in a beautiful array of grotesqueness, like rain falling in tears of crimson devastation.

Roxas raised his hands in a desperate attempt to defend himself from Axel's infuriated attack of fist against tenderized flesh. One of the heavy punches landed in his hand, snapping his wrist backwards into his face. There was a sharp popping sound that was drowned out by Roxas's shriek of stomach turning agony as indescribably intense pain shot up and down his forearm.

"STOP! STOP!" he pleaded as he tried uselessly to keep the gathering tears of pain from coming. "GODDAMN, AXEL, STOP!"

Axel grabbed Roxas's hands and wrenched them from his face, nailing them to the cold, unyielding cement walkway. More pain wracked through Roxas's injured wrist. Axel glared down at Roxas, his once handsome features twisted in horrid anger and pain.

"Why the hell should I!? You fucking slept with my girlfriend! You were supposed to be my _friend_, you fucking bastard!" Axel lifted his right fist again, readying it for another punch, but stopped when he noticed that Roxas was not doing anything to stop him. Roxas simply laid on the ground beneath him like a doll, staring up at him—a pair of teary, blue eyes surrounded by a bloodied mess. "Can't you at least fight back? You can fuck me over but you can't fucking fight me!?"

"I'm sorry," Roxas whispered through blood soaked lips. He reached up with his non-broken hand and slipped his fingers between Axel's raised fist so that their hands touched palm to palm, uniting the scars they had once given each other in a blood oath—best friend from birth till death do them part. Roxas could feel Axel's body tense as he frowned, and then pulled his hand from Roxas's. He stood and ran towards the busy highway, leaving Roxas to the closing tunnel until pain consumed him and he passed out.


	8. Part 8 (END)

2

2

Hughen / _Hands_ / Draft 3

Roxas was sitting on a park bench that was cast further into darkness despite the full moon by a large oak tree situated behind him. As he took a long drag of his cigarette he felt someone sit beside him.

"Hey," he said without looking up.

"Hi," Axel said softly. "I got your text."

Neither one said another word, and, oddly enough, Roxas did not feel uncomfortable with the silence. For a while they just looked out at the park. There were freestanding lights spread sporadically along the walkways, but in front of them was a long expanse of darkened grass, lit only by the moon. The ever-present hum of Main Street traffic was the only noise in the otherwise quite park.

Roxas took a deep breath before he broke the silence, "It's been awhile."

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

"I still love you."

When Axel did not respond, Roxas stood to leave, but was halted when a strong, warm hand took his. Startled, Roxas looked down at Axel, and a warm smile slowly spread across Axel's face. Yet still, he did not say anything. He just gave Roxas's hand an affectionate squeeze and did not let go.


End file.
